two lessons last night

one. Dancing is STILL one of my favorite things ever, I could dance forever.

“Dancing is about being exactly who you want to be in that moment.”

-Dirty Dancing

two. I am so grateful for the girl friends I can always count on.

"It's the friends you can call up at 4am that matter."

-Marlene Dietrich

refreshing truth

I've tried to make a habit of being in a good mood whenever I post- or at least not posting in a bad mood, because who wants that? And I feel awful about my Monday morning negativity, I seriously haven't stopped thinking about it. I mean I don't want you to think that I have this perfect life filled with joy and smiling 24/7 because that is so far from the truth, but i do want you to know that I believe that God is good even on those off days, and that I have off days too, but that I keep my eyes fixed on Him, and get past them, you know?

The only thing that keeps me going is the truth of God's word,

and the promises He gives, that He will never leave me or give up on me.
And that I am a part of His work, not Him a part of mine.
There is so much refreshing truth and purpose and wisdom in just a verse!

I mean, when I'm having a day I don't like, for any reason at all,
be it circumstances or choices or whatever,
I can open the Bible and come to something like this.
This is one of my favorite Psalm [I won't write the whole thing because it is quite long, but if you want open your bible and read it all]

Bless the Lord, and forget not all of His benefits-

who forgives all your iniquity,

who heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit

who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagles'

[Look at everything He gives me...that is everything I have!
He gives me each new day, each new breath, each moment,
with love that I can count on.
There is no promise like this on earth, anywhere.
Just reading this makes me feel like I can rest easy.
He's got it all. No worries.]

He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,

so great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him;

as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us

[See, Jesus knows my heart, and that it is not always wanting Him or spiritual things.
He's not blind to that. But He still loves.
He is patient, and brings me back every time I go running off after something sparkly]

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him.

For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust.

[He knows our weakness, in our human state,
and He is compassionate toward us]

The steadfast love of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him

[And that means, it's okay. No matter what happens.
His love is the only thing I need. I'm set!]

I hope that brings you as much joy and peace as it gives me, especially on manic days
And, if you want, tell me your favorite little chunk of Scripture, so I can go check it out!

*and once again, my apologies for the negative nasty monday post, lets be positive together

free

YOU ARE FREE. FREE YOURSELF FROM YOUR CONSTRAINTS. POOF! THEY ARE ALL GONE. FREE YOURSELF FROM FEAR. POOF! IT’S GONE. FREE YOURSELF FROM YOURSELF & LEARN TO BECOME YOURSELF. DONE.

now let’s start over. let’s start with nothing holding us back. we are weightless & we are pure. It doesn't matter if you allowed that thing or that person to control your heart and your life for so long because the important thing is that you are finally realizing that YOU ARE FREE. Isn't that such a beautiful feeling, the feeling of freedom, of not having anyone tell you what is appropriate and what is not, or who you can talk to and who you can't, or what you can do and what you can't, that feeling of knowing that you are free to do whatever you want, because it is YOUR life, and you are free and beautiful and have so much to live for!

that was pretty depressing

My post earlier today was a tad bit negative and harsh. And I never wanted my blog to be a place of negativity so I am apologizing to all you beautiful readers, especially those who call me your source of positivity. I guess this is prove that negativity is always trying to get the best of us, but I shouldn't let it (or them) win. My day got so much better because i have an awesome God who has blessed me with amazing friends and family, and sunshine. So please:

Yes Mondays sometimes suck and everything that can possible go wrong does, like stubbing your toe as soon as you get out of bed or receiving a nasty email from a nasty person or having a huge presentation due at 8 am or seeing someone drive off with your delicious cup of coffee that was suppose to make everything better or almost getting run over by a car or tripping in front of a group of at least 5 people or not being able to register for classes because there is a hold on your account that you cleared a week ago or you have no time to eat dinner before your class or... the list goes on and on (yes everyone of these DID actually happen to me today!) BUT we must:

because then amazing exciting beautiful things happen too, like someone comments on your cutely polished "stubbed" toe nails, or someone sends you a super nice text saying "you are an answer to prayer, a miracle, or something" or you get an A on that presentation you did at 8 am or you have a nice boy give you a cup of coffee with 3 shots or you meet your deadline even though italmostcost you your life or those people laugh with you instead of at you or you get into every single class you wanted regardless of the silly screw up or you have a beautiful friend who buys you dinner and your art teacher lets you out early anyways (yes, these all DID actually happen today too!) It REALLY all does depend on how YOU decided to see it and I am deciding to view the cup:

We serve an awesome God who does things like this every single day of our lives and because when you think at the end of the day:

screw monday

Bad day. Please week get better.

People, I really really don't care about his life, it is his, mine is mine, they no longer coexist.

Leave it alone.

You're still an innocent

I guess you really did it this time, left yourself in your warpathLost your balance on a tightrope, lost your mind tryin' to get it back

Wasn't it easier in your lunchbox days? Always a bigger bed to crawl into

Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything? And everybody believed in you?

It's all right, just wait and see

Your string of lights is still bright to me

Oh, who you are is not where you've been

You're still an innocent

There's some things you can't speak of, but at night you'll live it all again

Wasn't it easier in your firefly-catchin' days?

And everything out of reach, someone bigger brought down to you

Wasn't it beautiful runnin' wild 'til you fell asleep? Before the monsters caught up to you?

It's all right, just wait and see

Your string of lights is still bright to me

Oh, who you are is not where you've been

You're still an innocent

It's okay, life is a tough crowd, 32 and still growin' up now

Who you are is not what you did

You're still an innocent

Time turns flames to embers, you’ll have new Septembers, Every one of us has messed up too

Lives change like the weather, I hope you remember

Today is never too late to, be brand new

It's all right, just wait and see

Your string of lights are still bright to me

Oh, who you are is not what you did,

You're still an innocent

Short story: This past summer was one of the toughest most challenging times in my life. I learned about heartbreak heartache and the importance of water proof mascara. I lived in constant guilt and pain for the choices I had made and the consequences I faced. The hardest part of all was telling my mom about my mistakes and allowing her to love me regardless of my flaws, and then learning to love and forgive myself. Yet again God proved His amazingness this weekend-- I still almost 9 months later thought my mom was disappointed with me and unable to forgive me, but this weekend during our fantastic getaway to the beach of Mexico we were talking and the talking turned into crying and she said, you know that Taylor Swift song, "your string of lights is still bright to be though..." she tried to sing it as best she could, then she said "it is my song to you. Hillary please know that you are forgiven. you are loved. and you are beautiful. Stop punishing yourself, it is time to heal and move on. Your string of lights is still bright to me, who you are is NOT what you've done. So please forgive yourself sweet doll of mine."