Stop fooling yourself, yes it is almost Feburary, yes Valentine's day is almost here, yes you are NOT alone, so because of the hated and loved hoiday that awaits us, I guess you can say I was inspired me to write a blog about maybe being your own valentine this year.
You have probably seen the words in the picture above or heard them being said countless times before. It is one of those phrases that gets thrown around, usually when someone is feeling down and struggling with the feelings of not being loved. When said to you, I am sure they can be hurtful- but the pain underlines a telling fact; those words are true. IT IS TRUE! Whether or not you want to believe it, if you do not love yourself, no one else can truly love you. Certainly you can be in a relationship and experience varieties of emotions that may be similar to love, but if you do not love yourself, if you do not respect yourself, I can guarantee you that no one else can really truly love or respect you either- TRUST me.
How can I be certain? From experience. That simple. This year (school year) has been all about finding myself, creating myself, rediscovering myself, and the more I get to know myself, much to my surprise the more I actually love myself. And not so surprisingly (if you believe in the words pictured above), the more I grow to love myself and value my place in this world, the more love and acceptance I experience in my relationships with others. It may seem cliche or even a bit ironic, but I can only speak from a place of my experiences and these experiences have shown me that the quote above is 100% undeniably true.
If you want other people to love you, you must love yourself.
Of course we know easier said than done. Of course we all want to love ourselves, but it is not always that easy is it? Sometimes it can be very very very difficult to believe that you are worth loving, emphasis on the VERY. Sometimes it can get near impossible to believe that you are valuable. But you are! you are! God tells is we are valuable! You, me, everyone is capable of loving and being loved. It is not always simple- and usually its not- but it is always possible. And it starts with God, we love because he first loved us (1 John 4:19), but then we must love ourselves. Others can attempt to love you- and they can do their very best to convince you that you need to love you- but ultimately it is up to you, to love you.
And, often when left in our hands, the possibility of loving ourselves seems to grand, to insurmountable to even begin to dive into. In order to love ourselves, we have to accept ourselves, and oh boyyy is that hard. We have to accept the good and the bad, the mistakes and the triumphs. We have to actually look at ourselves in the mirror and really see who we are, which believe, you, me, can be pretty nerve-racking. It is way more tempting to just float along, allowing the world to move around you, just hoping that someday you will be loved in the way you want to be loved. As someone who has done this, I can tell you for certain that you won't find what you are looking for. You must start making some proactive attempts to love yourself. There is no better time than right now to get started on some serious self-love.
10 Ways to Love Yourself Now
1. Celebrate your past. honestly, without a doubt-- this is one of the hardest ones for me. There are things about the me I used to be that I just don't want to celebrate and mistakes I made, that I just don't want to celebrate. However, I think about it like this: everything that happened to me in the past, every choice I made, is what made me the person I am today so I need to embrace and celebrate that past because, without it, I wouldn't be me.
2. Indulge in your desires. Now, not every desire should be indulged in, but sometimes I think it's important to recognize the things that make you happy, that inspire you, that send little shivers of delight down your spine. Doing so will help you recognize the uniqueness that is you and will help you to identify the things you can focus on, those things that truly bring you happiness.
3. Let go of your mistakes. Mistakes happen. To everyone. No matter what you look like, who you are, what you do, you have made mistakes. We all have and they all suck. I look back on some of the mistakes I made not even a year ago and literally cringe, ahhhh just thinking of them. But you know what? It doesn't do you any good to focus on them. Take what you can from them, forgive yourself, learn from them, and MOVE on.
4. Transform your mindset. Sadly it is often easier to get down on yourself than it is to lift yourself up with encouragement. But if you want to love yourself, you have to change your mindset. You have to believe that you are worthy of love and you have to actively seek out positive things about yourself and your life. Believe me, if you don't do it, no one else will. Change the way you think about yourself and the rest will follow. God values you therefore you should value you.
6. Dive into your passion. Most people are passionate about something. They have things that really matter to them -- whether it be a cause or a job or a hobby. Whatever it is that gets you really excited, focus on it. Embrace it. Run with it. One of the best ways you can learn to love yourself is to zero in on the things that make you the happiest and spend as much time as you can on them.
7. Live in your moment. While it's not always easy to live in the moment, it's important that you do so. Why? Because to live in the moment is to accept what is and to accept what is, is the best way I've found for truly loving yourself. If you focus on the past instead of the present, you're not loving yourself now. Love yourself by being present.
8. Sing your own praises. I know some people don't like to toot their own horns, but you know what? It's okay to say how awesome you are every once and awhile. It's okay to admit that, wow, you did an amazing job on something or accomplished something you never thought you could. Celebrate yourself and your achievements and all of that self-love is sure to find you. Love your awesomeness because, seriously, you are awesome.
9. Listen to your ideas. Do you ever find yourself ignoring your instincts or avoiding your gut reaction? Don't do that anymore. If you want to love yourself, you have to believe yourself. You have to trust yourself. It's not always easy to listen to yourself, but recognize that your thoughts and ideas are always valid (no matter how ridiculous they might seem). You don't always have to act on your ideas, but always listen to them. Maybe you should act on them.
10. Appreciate your life. Okay, so there are some things you want to change about yourself, about your body, about your relationships, about your life? That's okay. We all want to change things. But what if you stopped focusing on the things you want to change and, instead, focused on the things you wanted to stay the same. Appreciating all that you have in your life is one of the very best ways to remember that you're so very lucky to be YOU.
These are only 10 ways to love yourself and there are so many more ways.
I recognize that loving yourself can be really hard work. It's something I work on every day and still don't think I have it completely down (or know if I ever will!), but every time I do something or think something that aligns with the idea that I do, in fact, love myself, I find that a much more positive, more present person. After all, it's pretty hard to live in the moment and love the moment you're living in if you don't love yourself.
Kurt Hahn wrote, "There is more in us than we known. If we can be made to see it, perhaps for the rest of our lives we will be unable to settle for less." Wow, how true! We are all such unique and complex beings and we often don't spend the time or energy looking at ourselves in a deep and meaningful way." The more we turn our attention towards ourselves, towards the act of loving ourselves, the more likely we will be to ask for more from life and never settle for less than we deserve. Don't settle. Don't wait. Start loving yourself right now.
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