The most wonderful month of the year

Oh, Oh, Oh October. thank heavens, it is october. it is crazy and it is chilly and it is SPLENDID. I feel like this is the time of year when my creative juices recharge and my heart sings and I feel the most like "myself."

My birthday being in this month has nothing to do with why I love it so much.....okay, okay, it has everything to do with it! Its my birthday month! I consider it the best month of the whole year! Everyone who knows me well knows my birthday is my favorite holiday of the year! Oh yes, it is a holiday! And they also know how excited i get for other people's birthdays, especially if theirs happens to be in October as well. I love this month. for a million and eleven reasons. for cider and chilly floors and leaving the window open, for the many october birthdays (including mine, of course!), for pumpkins and colorful leaves and fall veggies, for pies and using the oven and oh my gosh I could go on for days. approximately 31 of them. ending on halloween :)

Aside from my awesomeness (and anyone else's born in October), October is a really quirky month all on its own! Of course there is Breast Cancer Awareness, which was sooo done on purpose. The fact that October is breast cancer month is because they know how much I love the color PINK! And my birthday and breast cancer awareness means pink everywhere. EVERYWHERE I tell you! Last year I saw it on the NFL players, it made my life! I think October is such a beautiful month, the weather is so unpredictable; in the middle of summer and winter. I think that October is the start of all the holiday madness that everyone loves so much, and it begins with my (and yours and yours, if you were born this month) BIRTHDAYS!

and although it's a bit nuts--and quite a bit more nuts than I intended--I am so, so SO excited that October is here. I get to see two of our favorite bands, I get to spend time with my family and friends, we get to (hopefully) dress up and go trick-or-treating. AND I have some pretty kickin' days planned this month, too.

My favorite moment of the month so far? I thought it was my fun trip to SLO or the shopping trip that revamped my wardrobe. But yesterday evening, I sat on my bed; eating pumpkin bread while I read my Bible and journaled with messy hair and yoga pants on, I read Psalm 45:11, "The King is enthralled by your beauty." I then realized my favorite part of this month so far has been finally realizing that God's love is enough! and that He will be by my side and your side whenever we fall or call, HIS hands are holding us and He thinks we are beautiful.

HANDS DOWN, definitely the sweetest moment of October :)

So for my birthday month I am making some recommendations on how to have a lovely day/month:

1. write a love letter to yourself. 2.. read a book of ee cummings poetry out loud, even if only the animals or walls are listening. 3. believe in yourself. 4. write down 5 things your love about your life. 5. ask someone you love to write down their favorite 5 things about you. 6. do something you’re afraid of. 7. speak your mind!!! 8. kiss someone new. friendly or romantically. 9. don’t be afraid of failure. 10. eat your favorite dessert outside no matter the weather.

Oh my! Its October, the month we get to count candy corn as a vegetable, what could be greater?!

Happy Birthday!

I've got a MAJOR crush.

Oh yes its true! And I don't care who knows it! In fact, I want EVERYONE to know about this crush-my reason for smiling everyday, the cause of my pure happiness!

I don't think I can any longer use the phrase "newly single." Because it has been a few months now, but regardless, these past few months of receiving lots of attention from boys who declared their interest in me has been a blast, I am not going to lie. The free coffee, fancy dinners, pretty flowers, creative dates, kind words- ALL of it has been such a boost to my self esteem. (Time to get personal) This actually helped me regain confidence in myself after a wreckage that occurred this summer causing me to doubt everything I thought was good about me. Having someone tell you that 99% of what/who you are is not good enough can seriously make a person depressed.

But realizing what God can do in that wreckage is breathtaking! yes, the boys have made life fun and entertaining but the real reason why I have begun to feel beautiful once again is because of my new found crush, are you ready.... JESUS! Oh yes, I am mad crushing on Him, that's exactly what it feels like. And I feel beautiful because i realized that the definition of beautiful "is what God sees when God looks at me" (Redefining Beautiful) This relationship that I for so long never tried to strengthen has become the most important thing in my life. AND I LOVE IT. I love that I get excited when I am about to spend time with Jesus (devotions, worship), I love that I smile after hearing His every word (Reading the Bible), I love that when I talk about Him I get chills, I love that when I hear about his miracles I can't help but fall for Him more, I love that He makes me feel beautiful when I read about His grace and everlasting love for me, I love that I can trust Him with even my biggest secrets and know that He will always forgive me for my mistakes. I love that He makes me feel this way, so I guess you can call it more than a crush- it's TRUE LOVE! And I couldn't be happier, I actually don't think I have ever been this happy in my whole life!

I have a few friends who got out of long term relationships and decided to not date for a certain period of time (3 months, 6 months, a year, etc.) I considered doing this and just might, but I don't think I can really make that decision. You see, I am a strong believer in love, and because I was able to experience even a tiny bit of it at one time, I am an even STRONGER believer. Right now I am not looking for a love, because I have found comfort in my ONE true love, Jesus. But I am praying everyday for the man that God has for me, I am praying for his safety and his life and his happiness and his future. and I cannot put a restraint on when I will meet this man, it could've already happened or be tomorrow, or next week, or in 2 years, or in 5 years, but for now all that matters is that I am so comfortable and happy and thrilled to be madly crushing and falling in love with Jesus. I want my relationship with Him to thrive and thrive, making it the most beautiful, real, loving relationship in my life, always. I trust Him completely, so yes everyone, I've got a major crush, on Jesus!

rain, rain go away? try again

"rain rain go away, come back another day, lalalala"? why? why are we always so negative about the rain? why are we always wishing it away? Maybe you aren't, but if you are like me, then why? Why are we disappointed every morning we wake up and see rain? Why are we upset that we don't get to spend an hour straightening our hair because the rain will ruin it? (better, now i don't have to waste that hour) Why are we so irritated by a few drops of rain landing on our bodies. I am making it a goal in my life, a priority to love the weather. The rain. The cold. The sun. The heat. The wind. ALL of it, because ALL of it is a beautiful gift from God. And all of it is worth loving! Rain is amazing. Inside or outside, I love the feeling of rain falling on my face on a cloudy day. I love sitting inside, watching the rain trickle down my window, as I listen to my favorite music and study for my nursing exam that just happens to be on Wednesday. And to those who say sunshine brings happiness I say try dancing in the rain, that's true happiness! Lets love the rain together! Change!

The weather is getting cooler & the trees are starting to dress up in their autumn colors. the leaves are changing and so can you. school is starting, jobs are starting, new adventures are beginning. new school. new job. new love. new life. everyone is on their toes waiting. twiddling their thumbs & tapping their toes.autumn calls for reinvention, a change of scenery. change is good. change in friends, a change in self. so don’t hold back. cut your hair, tell her you love her, tell him you’re leaving, start a band, leave your job, switch your major, do what makes you feel good. the choices you make now will pave the way for the rest of your life. does that always have to be a negative thing? no no no no no no!!! don’t be frightened, things will work out. throw your heart into it & hold your chin up high. we’re going to make a beautiful future. this is the start of something remarkable. don’t be afraid. it’s your life, rule your world. soon we’ll all be smiling.