feeding my mind

so I'm planning to start summer youth leader training. Church inspired.
It's a ministry for college kids to love on high school kids and share Jesus with them.
and it seems like there's a big need, so I'm getting started with that.
It's a funny feeling, though, to lead someone.
I am not very old or mature, or wise so it makes me nervous to imagine.

yesterday I said to God,
"I don't feel adequate for this"

and He put two verses in my head.

1. "not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God." -2 corinthians 3:5

2. "all scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work." -2 timothy 3:16, 17

it's an interesting combination of verses, because the first talks about our inadequacy to do good things on our own. which is true.

that's why Jesus died and gave us His life, and His goodness.

and I'm really comfortable talking about my own badness

but the second verse talks about Scripture, and how being in God's word helps us to become adequate. it's our responsibility to get fed by His truth and become more adequate for good works. especially if we want to share Him with other people.

so I can see how becoming a leader will help me to grow as well.

and that's something to be glad about!

but I had a thought about this... it's like fuel.

who wants to think of food as fuel?
I don't; I'm usually more emotional- "what do I feel like eating?"
but athletes need to think of their food as their fuel, because they have work to do.
they don't have enough caloric need or bodyspace to eat for emotions.

you are what you eat, right?

so back to youth leadership. when I go along my merry way, "eating" mental food without discipline, consuming whatever tastes good, what am I?
I'm useless.
God says, "apart from Me, you can do nothing".

I could make up something on the spot to talk about, but without the power that He gives, i'm useless. In order to be as adequate as possible for these good things, I need to feed myself spiritual fuel, therefore my goal is to feed myself daily, twice a day if possible.

time to run that race set before us.

fix your eyes on Jesus.