sweet little revenge

I wrote this months ago in my journal and just recently stumbled upon it realizing it may be helpful for some readers in similar situations (;

It's done. It's been done for a long while now. How did it end? If I recall correctly it was me realizing your immaturity and realizing I needed to grow and become my own person. After that, you thought you would get your revenge by claiming you liked someone else, some dumb girl you barely even knew, that you met while we were still ending/dealing with some horrible mess. Well your plan worked. It broke my heart. Even though I had wanted to end it, even though I knew it needed to end, knowing you were with her while we were still kind of together; killed me. I was shattered into a million little pieces, and thought there was nothing in the world that could put me back together.

But something did. It was my new found self confidence. When I realized I deserved so much better than you, the pieces very slowly began to reassemble. And then I began noticing. That more and more guys would smile at me, try to talk to me, give me compliments. That made the pieces come together more quickly. The best part about it was, I never needed to get revenge in order to become whole again. Hurting you wouldn't make me feel any better, because I simply didn't care about you anymore. You broke my heart, made me feel horribly, and then did it again. Now all I see are those wasted years with you, the time spent waiting for us to grow together.

So now I'm putting that last piece back together. I've found HIM, (G to the O D) who cares, found Him who will pull some of the weight, found Him who truly loves me unconditionally. And I love Him back. And there is no doubt in my mind that you are completely gone. I don't ever think about you when I’m focused on Him. There are no lingering thoughts about us in my head, about "what could have been". This isn't one of those stories where I realized I've always still loved you. No. In fact, I don't know if I ever loved you, because now that I know what true love is, I know what I felt when I was with you sure as hell wasn't that. And I know one day I will find the guy who shares this true love with me and that is enough.

So in a sense my happiness is my sweet little revenge.
Goodbye. Forever.