hard to believe

After reading these words I think to myself "yeah whoever wrote this insane cliche clearly never experienced college graduation." I often want to take all the power into my own hands, somehow find a way to make that one job opening be mine over the hundreds of others who applied, that graduate school see what a wonderful candidate I am and just send me an acceptance letter already, that internship to turn into something bigger, this family to need me for more hours, the list goes on and on. The point is, I want to be in control. I like my life when I am in control, and I have come to realize that for the majority of my life I have been. I like taking all the power into these hands and make lists and lists of planning and then implementing these plans. It is difficult for me to have no power, but at this moment that is exactly what I have. None. No power. No control. None. Obviously I'm freaking out, but after reading these words over and over again and then having lunch today with a dear friend who chatted to me about her plans and how now that she has done her part, the choice really isn't up to her. That's when it clicked. I have done everything I could up to this point, found ample opportunities, applied to everything I could possibly want to do at this point in my life, considered all my options and now I AM NOT IN CONTROL. So I can relax and enjoy Hawaii in in one week, and that, that is beautiful.