according to coco

" A woman who doesn't wear perfume has no future."

-Coco Chanel

I am no feminist but I wouldn't exactly describe myself as a fundamentalist nut job. I, like Chanel, believe that there is nothing masculine in me. And like the famous Coco Chanel can probably be described as competitive, aggressive, and self involved. But again there is nothing masculine in me, even though those three traits are associated with masculinity, which may present several questions, such as, what is femininity anyway?

It is an odd time for the concept of femininity. Agreed? I mean feminism is all over the place. We live in this cultural moment where people are endlessly tussling about equality, reproductive rights, and what is empowering for a woman to do. The old feminists sniff about the sacrifices they made during the bra-burning generation. The type who are the men in their lives. And then there are women who refuse to identify as feminists but still believe in some level of equality. The type of women who embrace their God-ordained femininity by being meek, gentle, pure, loving, and submissive. All of this makes me wonder were I fall on this scale of feminism and fundamentalism- to even think of using femininity in hopes of luring a man into taking care of me in exchange for my independence is impossible. I know too well that it is folly to put my survival in the hands of someone else. But I am in no way above coddling men in the once upon a time-honored feminine tradition. In fact I almost long for this time to arrive. And I think feminists are the reason why chivalry is dead, and for that I will never forgive them.

In the book Captivating, Stasi Eldredge writes: "One of my favorite games when growing up was “kidnapped and rescued.” I know many little girls who played this-or wished they had. To be the beauty, abducted by the bad guys, fought for and rescued by a hero-some version of this had a place in our dreams. Like Sleeping Beauty, like Cinderella. Why am I embarrassed to tell you this? I simply loved feeling wanted and fought for. This desire is set deep down in every little girl- and every woman." I came to the conclusion that I am neither a feminist or a fundamentalist, I am simply a girl who is waiting for my prince, a girl who cares more about being in love than being in power, and a girl who like Coco has not an ounce of masculinity in me.